How can the Trauma Children Experience in High Conflict Divorce Cases be Minimized?


September 27, 2018 :: Robert Harvie, Cyndi Starzyk-Frey and Harvey Labuhn
Moderated by Mary Shillington

Divorce is hard. It just is. Even an amicable divorce is a traumatic experience – and where conflict exists, that trauma is magnified. What “was” no longer “is”, and what tomorrow brings is uncertain and frightening – for both parties. So, then, what to do? Well, keeping in mind that no divorce is easy, there are a few tips than can help you move from a difficult past and present to a less difficult and frightening tomorrow. With that in mind, in 32 years of divorce work, and the speaker having gone through a divorce himself, there are tips to help you move from where you are, to where you may want to be collaboratively.

If you have children, allow them to be free to love both their parents. Nothing is worse than submitting your children to a high conflict divorce between their parents and sending them a message that they are not free to love both their parents equally. This can be difficult and it can be tempting to want to “hold on to” your children, and fear separation from them – even for brief periods of time.

If children experience joy with the other parent, encourage those feelings and congratulate yourself on allowing them that opportunity – because not every child gets that chance. Its important to deal with your angst or anger on your own, with supportive friends, or a counselor out of the children’s presence the speakers will argue. They will futher describe how an ugly divorce conflict can severely damage children.

Speakers: Robert Harvie, Cyndi Starzyk-Frey and Harvey Labuhn

Robert Harvie has practiced law in Lethbridge for the past 27 years since graduating with a law degree from the University of British Columbia in 1985. He practices solely in the area of Family Law Litigation and Family Law Dispute Resolution with emphasis on Property and Financial Disputes. Rob’s past practice in Real Estate and Commercial/Corporate transactions has contributed to his expertise in dealing with these disputes

Cyndi Starzyk-Frey, M.Ed., R.S.W. has been a Child and Family Therapist in Lethbridge for over 18 years. She is a trained Child Specialist/Parenting Coach in the Collaborative Divorce Model and is a member of the Lethbridge Collaborative Divorce Group. Cyndi is a Psychology/Sociology instructor at Lethbridge College

Harvey Labuhn is a Chartered Professional Accountant and Chartered Business Valuator with over 35 years of public accounting experience. He has extensive experience as a financial professional in Collaborative Divorce. Primary areas of expertise include valuation of companies, calculation of settlement structures and of guideline income. Strong record of success in achieving settlements that avoids the need to go to court.

Moderator: Mary Shillington

Date: Thursday, September 27, 2018
Time: Doors open 11:30 am, Presentation 12 noon, buffet lunch 12:30 pm, Q&A 1 – 1:30 pm
Location: Royal Canadian Legion (north door) 324 Mayor Magrath Dr. S. Lethbridge
Cost: $14 buffet lunch with desert & coffee/tea/juice or $2 coffee/tea/juice. RSVP not required


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